May is mental health awareness month, and it has taken me this long in the month to do a post about it for several reasons.
- Every year when I hear that it is mental health awareness month, I suddenly become overly aware of my own mental health. I begin to take stalk of if I am in fact still crazy. I wonder if I still have anxiety, over and over to the point that I give myself anxiety. So towards the end of the month I realize that my diagnoses is still true. I am still the wonderful bearer of and Axis 1 Anxiety Disorder, with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Traits. (that is mainly my circular thoughts that drive me and everyone around me nuts)
- This year I have started a new relationship with a boy. While we have only known each other for one week, officially today. We have been spending a lot of time together, which I actually enjoy. He makes me laugh and I am able to relax around him. Although, when I come home, like tonight, I am suddenly filled with free roaming anxiety, which in turn causes me to question everything about myself and why I like this person. I am sure there is something deeply wrong with him, because he just seems too good for me. Don’t misunderstand, this is part of my crazy. I am hopeful I am wrong, but I never expect to be, which might be a major contributing factor to my eternally single state.
- I have been really sick. I have gastro paresis and this month I have been having a flare up. Which basically means my stomach refuses to digest food as it should, and I have to go to the doctor for never ending tests, which I can’t finish because I keep throwing up. I have missed a lot of work, which really sucks, and I am scared to eat at all most days. This causes a never ending cycle of me being starving, and me getting even more sick because I feel better and then over eat. However, I think that this flare is coming to an end, just in time to coincide with my monthly round of female hormones which make me angry and anxious for a whole different set of reasons.
However, it is May still, and that means that it is the time of year when we are all supposed to be aware of mental health. I think that should be every day and not just an allotment of 30 some odd days at the end of the school year. We should always care about our friends, family, and strangers who suffer from mental health disorders.
So because it’s May, we should embrace the crazy in public. Have an outburst at work, you’re crazy right, then explain that you are protesting the fact that craziness is not accepted in our society. Well, maybe that’s not the best way to go about things. However, I do encourage you to start conversations with people about the importance of mental health acceptance, and what we can do to change the stigma about those of us who live we these problems every day of our lives, for the rest of our lives.
Also, embrace, and I do mean hug, the crazy. It’s mental health awareness in its kindest and most in your personal space kind of way. Hugs for crazy people, especially the ones who need drugs so they don’t punch you for the hug.