Today I wanted to try and write some fiction again. This was a fairly short lived idea. I had searched around on the internet for a good writing generator for prompts for a horror story. Since I am still lacking plot bunnies, I figured that this was the best way to force my fingers into the mode of writing something different, and being October horror felt appropriate. The problem was partly my timing, and partly the existence of the six year old son of my friend.
I have been writing over at my friend’s house recently, because of two reasons: 1. She makes me write and 2. She has internet, something which I cannot afford right now. Since keeping a consistent blog is difficult when you have no internet, I have effectively created a spot in her bedroom in which to write. It is not the most comfortable spot and this is not only due to the fact that I have to hold my laptop in my lap while writing, but also because despite the fact it’s her bedroom, there is a lot of human traffic which makes it hard to concentrate. Add to this the fact that I keep forgetting my noise canceling headphones and it doesn’t make for a very good writing situation.
Now I spent about an hour reading ridiculous prompts, and finally came across one which seemed to have potential. About the same time I began to write on this prompt, her six year old came into the bedroom to hang out while his older brother got ready for bed. This wouldn’t be a problem, except that it is very hard to write anything when a child is present and whining about anything which pops into his head. I never write while my own son is home and awake, and usually I wait until her kids are asleep before I begin, but tonight I was almost inspired.
It took about three paragraphs before I gave up. Leaving the beginnings of a story left to be found and possibly finished at a later date. I realize now in a most intense way that I need to finish my project of purging my house. This way I will be able to have my writing space at home away from other people and distractions. I might even write something of quality if I have a nice space that is dedicated to this process. Then if all else fails, and a new job doesn’t appear to help me actually pay my bills, then I can still go to my friends to use the internet for research and posting my blog stuffs.
The other important factor in getting this space done is for my own sanity. I get anxious when I am trying to study, research, or write over at my friend’s house. Between the 15 year old, the 6 year old and her husband, who constantly roam in and out of the room asking questions and causing general distraction, I can’t focus and this increases my anxiety in an uncomfortable way, which makes me no longer enjoy the process of writing. I need my own space in which to stare into the void and attract the plot bunnies. I would rather a bunny make me anxious for finding things in my brain which surprise me than increased anxiety due to a kid just being a kid.
So in honor of this week being mental health awareness week, I call upon everyone with anxiety or any mental health problem, to find a place for themselves. Whether it is a desk or a room, or just a park bench, we all need to find a place where our thoughts can run free, so that when we leave this spot we can be free from the troubles of the mind. This will also help if you are needing inspiration, if you create a spot where you are inspired, staying in this spot for a bit of time each day should help with that.
As I am now seeking to go on to graduate school for counseling, I believe that this spot I plan to create for myself will be helpful in more than just my literary pursuits. I hope everyone can carve out their own spot where if nothing else you can embrace the crazy.